Mistakes

Down With The Queen (#5)

In response to the Beat Generation

My goal was to create a personal narrative using a photograph from an artist in the Beat Generation. The narrative did not have to follow exactly what was happening in the photograph; I could create a different story. For instance, the photograph I chose was taken by Elliott Erwitt. It is an image of Grace Kelly after the announcement of her engagement. However, I am changing the meaning behind the photograph.

Well, there's no turning back now; everyone is staring at me.

I know the room is bright and wide, yet I am looking around and I see the walls closing in. A misty fog rises up, covering every person’s face.

I can hear their whispers, spoken as though I could not.

There is no uniqueness to their tones; they all sound alike.

Their faces hold looks of malice, followed along with sardonic smiles.

Why did I come? What am I trying to prove?

Stop. I can not keep thinking this way. I will not be affected. I will not show my sorrows, no matter how hard it may be.

Looking up, I can only view two faces. They are not covered by the fog, as though they were protected by a shield.

Oh dear. I told myself they would be here, but I did not expect them to be here together. Can they notice my hands shaking? Can they feel the tension in my jaw?

I start to walk pass them until a sudden urge overpowered me. I knew I could not ignore them. I turn to them and I can notice their mouths slightly moving. I can imagine their oppressive comments towards me. I knew what I had to do.

“Hello Will, hello Brian.”

I look into Will’s eyes and there is no emotion to them. I knew he had become disenchanted with me. I spoke once more.

“Will, I am truly sorry for the sin I committed. Brian, I am sorry for manipulating you. I never meant to cause tension between your friendship, though I am glad to see that you two are still talking. Will, I still love you. I need you to know I still think about you everyday. I never meant to engage physically with Brian and it is not his fault. We were fighting, I was sad, and Brian was there. I told him we were no longer together. I am aware of my actions and consequences, quite frankly, so is everyone else. I just wanted to apologize one last time.”

I am waiting for a response but nothing is said. I knew I should not have come. I turn and walk away, passed the people and the double doors. I could not feel sadness for myself, I only felt it for Will. After, it is supposed to be our wedding day.